The Friendly Bald Giant

Get to know the Characters

Yami

Yami was seventeen feet of pure, unadulterated muscle, topped with a head so bald it could be used as a lighthouse signal in an emergency. To offset the aerodynamic scalp, he sported a beard so long and thick that several species of migratory birds had tried to apply for a mortgage inside it.

Despite being able to crush a boulder like a grape, Yami’s internal hard drive was mostly dedicated to three things: a deep, scholarly respect for horses, has real art for baking, and his emotional dependence on a black-and-white stuffed bear named kuma.

Yoshino

Yoshino is a beautiful, pocket-sized whirlwind Elf with long brown hair and a mountain of courage that matches Yami's actual size. Completely unintimidated by the seventeen-foot giant, she treats him like a big brother, constantly targeting him with hilarious pranks just to see him smile. Yet, beneath all the glitter bombs and mischief lies a deeply caring heart; she is fiercely protective of Yami, always ensuring her favorite giant is happy, his massive beard is looked after, and his beloved Kuma is safe and sound.

Tech

Sheriff Tech is a man so breathtakingly handsome that his primary hobby is just looking in the mirror, fully convinced he is God’s gift to the county. If Gaston from Beauty and the Beast were upgraded by a factor of 9,000, you’d get Tech. He sports a beard so perfectly clean cut it looks like it was mapped out by a laser, paired with a smile so incredibly sharp it could slice diamonds, and so blindingly shiny that Chip Skylark would weep tears of pure jealousy. When he isn't using his pearly whites as a backup flashlight on night patrols, he is busy wielding his favorite service weapon, a gun he absolutely loves to fire into the night air just to scare away the terrifying, creepy shadows creeping out from the nearby magical dark forest.

Tech is Yoshinos loving and dearing husband, and Yamis bestfriend. He has a huge spot in his heart for Yami, and makes sure that no matter his height or baldness, Yami will always have Tech by his side.

The Morning Ambush

Yami sat on his custom built "Extra Reinforced" porch, squinting at a field of ponies through a magnifying glass the size of a manhole cover.

"Look at the gait on that Appaloosa," Yami rumbled, his voice sounding like two tectonic plates having a polite conversation. "The structural integrity of the hoof is "

POP.

A glitter bomb detonated inside his beard.

Yami didn't flinch. He just sighed as a cloud of neon pink sparkles rained down his chest. He looked down to see Yoshino, a woman who barely reached his ankle, doubled over with laughter, holding an empty pressurized tube.

"Gotcha, you big shiny bowling ball!" Yoshino cackled, pointing at his shimmering beard. "You look like a disco ball had a midlife crisis!"

"Yoshino," Yami said with weary affection. "The glitter is unnecessary. I am trying to study the majestic gallop."

"You were staring at them like they’re pieces of fine china, Yami. It’s weird. Also, I hid Kuma."

The giant’s eyes went wide. The tectonic plates in his throat shifted to a higher frequency. "You... you did WHAT? Yoshino, it is nearly nap time. The Bear of Despair is required for my REM cycle."

Enter the Law

Just then, a police horse pulled into the massive driveway, Tech gaving a playful *chirp-chirp* as if he had a police siren. Sheriff Tech, adjusted his belt, looked at Yami’s sparkly beard, and then at his wife’s mischievous grin.

"Yoshino," Tech sighed, walking over to pat the giant’s massive shin. "What did we say about glitter bombing the civilian population?"

"He’s not the population, he’s Yami!" she protested.

"Brother," Tech looked up at the giant. "She’s been planning this since breakfast. I tried to stop her, but she’s fast. How are the horses?"

"The horses are excellent, Tech," Yami pouted. "But your wife has kidnapped my associate. Without Kuma, the balance of my soul is skewed."

Tech looked at Yoshino. "Give the big guy his bear, babe. You know he gets 'the gloom' if he doesn't have it."

The Great Negotiation

Yoshino hopped onto a stepstool so she could be closer to Yami’s knee. "Fine. But you have to give me a lift to the top of the water tower so I can hang the 'Sheriff Tech Smells Like Old Cabbage' banner."

"Yoshino!" Tech shouted, though he was clearly trying not to laugh.

Yami considered this. He looked at his horse field, then at his empty, glittery hands. "Agreement reached. One water tower excursion for one bear."

Yoshino reached into her oversized backpack and hauled out the stuffed bear. Yami took it with the delicacy of a man handling a prehistoric egg. He tucked Kuma under his chin, the bear’s half grin peeking out from the sparkling beard.

"There," Yami grunted, instantly relaxed. "Now, Sheriff, hold your wife's legs. I shall place her upon the tower. But we must be quiet; I don't want to startle the ponies."

"You’re a good man, Yami," Tech said, leaning against the giant’s heel. "A sparkly, horse obsessed, bear cuddling man. But a good one."

"I know," Yami whispered, hugging Monokuma. "Now let's go commit this crime. I have a 2:00 PM nap scheduled."

... To be continued? ...

The End .. ? ..