I do have a hankering for edible water right now rolf

Don't do it Duck. Suicide by bread is no way to go.

Thats why you eat the water too

You really like rolling the dice Duck. That’s just a slow death. My work tried murdering me two days ago. They lured me in with a free fajita banquet. The fajitas were laced with a thin seasoned liquid bread. I’ve been slowly dying ever since. Eating water on the other hand. I have a great recipe. First check your water to make sure it’s fresh. Tap it gently. Listen for a crisp sound. If it’s too soft it’s over ripe. Cut your water into 1 inch cubes and set a side, only for a moment. Rim a tall glass with an unearthed sodium compound from the northern Punjab region of Pakistan, a pinch of dill and celery salt by first wetting the rim with Tabasco or Cholula sauce. Gently place the firm chunks of water into the glass and set aside in the freezer. Blend 3-4 medium Beefsteak or Roma tomatoes and strain. Reduce the strained juice on medium heat adding a 1/2 tsp gluten free Worcestershire sauce, medium ground peppercorns to taste, 1/4 tsp smoked paprika, 1 tsp of prepared horseradish the juice from 1/4 of a lime and or lemon for a brighter mix. Reduce to a consistency of your liking and cool. Remove your prepared glass from the freezer. Don’t be tempted to eat the water just yet. I know it’s very inviting. Pour 2 oz of your favorite gluten free vodka, 4 oz of your seasoned tomato reduction, 1 oz of freshly squeezed pineapple juice (you have to have strong hands for this), and a half oz of pickle brine (I prefer brine from Wickles Wicked Hula Pickles). Stir gently and enjoy responsibly . Some call this a Bloody Mary, I call it a Sweet Jesus.

I mean this as the biggest compliment: you are an absolute professional yapper, and I adore every single word. I loved reading this so much! Rolf I've also stalked you a little.. I hope you don't mind! Loved your stories :)

So, you’re the assassin!

I may or may not try that recipe for something, sounds actually delicious, minus the vodka as I do not drink LoL Your comments always give me a good chuckle

What can I say. I’m artistic.

Shit. My bad. It says Autistic in my chart. Read that wrong.

Artistic is right too, that level of speech is also certainly an art lol

Awww, shucks Duck. I’m sorry for wanting to toss you on my smoker the other day. Honestly, offline, I’m a wallflower, not very quick witted, intensely shy and awkward carefully stewed in a cauldron of anxieties . So a lot of it is just online armor. I appreciate the compliment. And to the assassin with the bangs. I appreciate your compliments as well but I will not fall for the Trojan horse free fajita banquet tactics again. It’ll have to be something way more enticing. But I’ll never say what that is.

I tried the recipe but all my water is overripe. What do I do?

The only substitute for edible water is to freeze dry the souls of your enemies. You’ll want to cut that into 1 inch cubes as well and maybe go a little lighter on the cracked pepper.